I am a little late on the “New Year’s resolution,” le sigh. But it’s never too late to make a change. Inspired by author Laura Lippman, who every New Year’s picks just one word as her resolution for the coming year, I decided to do the same.

I wanted a word that would have impact; one that would compel me to make changes in my life. For changes to occur, however, I would first have to let go of certain fears that have kept me from being the person that I really am. So my word for 2015 became “fearless.” In other words, to live a life “free from fear.” Obviously you can’t completely rid yourself of fear; it is a natural behavior response. Also, for me, being fearless doesn’t mean you are not afraid of anything. It means not letting fear control your life.

In the past years my decisions were made in a confined state of fear. So afraid of being hurt I suppressed my feelings and held back my emotions to protect myself. I made it difficult for someone to like or love me, as they were tested at every corner. As you can imagine this limited my potential relationships and caused me to make bad impressions and push people away, inevitably hurting them. I have begun to realize that vulnerability is not a negative trait, and that I can take my fears and anxieties and turn them into strengths. It’s a liberating feeling to realize you aren’t that voice in your head.

I’m now trying not only to become aware of that fear but also to accept and move forward in spite of it. Loving myself has allowed me to love others. Learning what love is not has helped me to learn more about what love is. Instead of testing people in my life, I now try to grant them access allowing me to trust them.

Last, and most important, I believe that being fearless is the foundation of having courage, which Aristotle believed was “the greatest quality of the mind.” And as C.S. Lewis so brilliantly put it, “courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point,” which means at the point of highest reality.

Now I wish to live a life where my actions are not influenced by my fears. If you aren’t happy with the life you’re living I hope you have the courage to change it.

11 thoughts on “Set Goals And Achieve Them

  1. I just found your blog and this was the first post I read. You write amazingly and have said some very important things.

  2. EllaSense says:

    Hi Avery,

    I really enjoyed your blogs. We seem to be on the same spiritual wavelength. 🙂

    Let’s keep each other honest.

    Vibeka

  3. Adam says:

    Excellent post! I’m new to your blog but enjoyed reading a few posts. Especially this one. Overcoming fear is no small task. Leaning out over the edge of the unknown into the wild ride of uncertainty takes a brilliant effort and yields a mighty resolve.

  4. Hi Avery! Nice post. It spoke to me. It’s all about confrontation. I started of the year by jumping of a bridge – as I’m afraid of heights. I wrote about my experience here http://boyunderthebridge.com/2015/01/23/boy-off-the-bridge/

  5. tracymartin says:

    Nice! I did this too. one word for the year, “Listen!” It’s hard and it’s foreign, but it’s amazing when I can do it. To really listen means I have to give up all I think I know. It involves trust and surrender, respect and patience – so even when we choose one word, we end up with the benefits of many. Cheers! To you and your year of fearlessness! May it bring great fun!

  6. oteymusic says:

    I like this piece a lot. It reminds me of a powerful encouraging speech by Mel Robbins on the TED talks. Your piece adds to that very well. Brendon Burchard also has a cool short video about ”how to overcome fear”. This is a very strong topic. A friend loaned me the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker which I used concepts from in my women’s self-defense class. Between these three people and your great reminding encouraging piece, I can keep consistent in being aware without paranoia. Thank you. Dave O.

  7. I like the word “persistance.” Keep at it! Never give up!

  8. WrightHealth says:

    Hi Avery. Fear or any other emotion/feeling does not exist until you create it. In your natural state, you are fearless, happy, content. It is only when you allow your own thoughts to wander into thinking about things that create those emotions that they show up. You are living in the feelings of your own thinking. If you don’t think about it, you won’t feel the emotion. Next time you are thinking about something and it is causing a feeling in you that you don’t like, understand that it is just your own thinking creating it. Outside of you, it does not exist. When you come to understand that thinking comes first and feelings/emotions are a product of your own thinking, then those unwanted feelings lose their mysterious power. Sunshine on you.

  9. Maz Iqbal says:

    Hello Avery,
    I acknowledge you as whole-complete-perfect. I also acknowledge you as a person committed to honouring her word as herself. Given that your word is fearless as in “feel the fear and do it anyway” here is my invitation:

    Please share with us one or more areas of your life where you are committed to showing up fearlessly. And in particular, share with you what outcomes you are committed to generating by when. Last but not least, what is it that you will need to give up (let go of) in order to generate your desired outcomes.

    As this is an invitation, you can choose to decline. Or you can choose to see my invitation as me entering into the arena with you and creating an opportunity for you to be fearless – in sharing the results that you are committed to generating.

    At your service | with my love
    maz

  10. muaddib012 says:

    My word will be “consistency”

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